Things I Wouldn’t Have Without Daddy

This is my Daddy.

Where would I be without my Daddy? I don’t even want to know, but here are a few things I do know I wouldn’t have.

I wouldn’t have my name. Daddy’s middle name is Vicky and Mother’s middle name is Lorraine, giving me my name, Vicki Lorraine. Now you may notice that it isn’t spelled the same and that's because Mother preferred it this way.  Then, you might be thinking that Vicky is an odd name for a boy. True, but, from what I’ve been told, he got that name because of a clerical error at the hospital where he was born. It was supposed to be Vickery, which was a family name, but somehow a few letters fell off or Granny Grimes accent was really bad. Either way, it worked out well for me. I have a fantastic name.

I wouldn’t know what the weather was like in Montgomery. Who needs TV or fancy phones that will tell you what the weather is like all over the globe? I have my Daddy. He and I always talk on Sundays. It’s usually around 7:30pm or 8:00pm ET and when the phone rings, I need to answer. If I don’t, then his mind tends to wander and thoughts of me laying dead in a ditch creep in. When I answer, the first thing discussed is always the weather.

I wouldn’t have my love for the Alabama Crimson Tide. Daddy and I have shared love for the Crimson Tide. Sunday’s calls during football season, after we’ve discussed the weather, of course, we talk about Saturday’s game. He and I went to our first Alabama game together in 2008 at the inaugural Chick-fil-A Kick-off Classic in Atlanta. Alabama played Clemson, who was picked to win the game and also the projected winner of the ACC Championship. Guess what? They didn’t do either. Score was 34-10 and Clemson went 4-4 in the ACC. As Ray Goff would say, Alabama “took ’em behind the woodshed.” Roll Tide!

I wouldn’t have a strong sense of family. I’m not the only person who gets a call on Sundays. Daddy talks to Joe and his two brothers like clockwork. Daddy calls them or they call him. My cousin, Carla, jokes about how she knows when the brothers are on the phone with each other. First, it’s the weather, then Alabama football, when in season, and then politics. Throw in a joke or story about the family and you’ve been there. See a pattern forming?

Reunions are also very important. We have two reunions each year, one for my grandmother’s side of the family and one for my grandfather’s side. Both of Daddy’s parents passed away when Joe and I were very young, so for us, these reunions keep us connected with our family. I make an effort to travel up for them when I can, despite being one of two family members who live the farthest from the gathering places.

I wouldn’t have beautiful pieces of handmade furniture that make my friends jealous. Daddy is, as my best good friend, Allison would say, as handy as a shirt pocket. I would consider him a master wood craftsman. He can create, make, or fix just about anything. He made me an armoire and a hall tree for my house. He took the columns of the front of his house and made a four-poster king size bed out of them. People are always asking him to build things and if you ask nice, most times he will.

My Daddy has a lot of other qualities. He’s funny, smart, generous and loyal. He’s a devoted husband to his wife, Terry. He speaks his mind, but can hold his tongue, too. He’s willing to do whatever he can to help others. Along with being devilishly handsome, he’s one cool guy. I could go on and on, but I think you can tell I love him and I think I’ll keep him.

Zac Brown Band’s song, Highway 20 Ride, always makes me think of Daddy and how much I know he loves me. The song about a divorced father who travels to pick up his son and the thoughts that go through his mind during the ride. The songwriter got his inspiration while driving along Interstate 20 between Atlanta, Georgia and the Georgia/South Carolina state line in Augusta, Georgia to drop off his son, so that his mother could pick him up.

When our parents divorced, Joe and I lived with our mother. During the summer, we would stay with Daddy. We lived in Florida, so he would come and pick us up at our Papa’s house in Montgomery. The lyrics of this song hit me right in my tender hearted places because Daddy would travel I-20 from Augusta to Montgomery to come and get to us.     

When I hear the first chingles of this song, it gets me every time - straight waterworks. I recently saw ZBB in concert and I literally lost my mind when Zac began to sing. Thank God I had my sunglasses on because I could tell it was one of those ugly cries. WARNING: You’re going to want to grab a tissue.

Daddy, I do smile when you cross my mind. I love you dearly. Happy Father’s Day.

For Mother

I will say, with much bias, I have the best mother.

Over the years, it has been one heck of a roller coaster ride. Our relationship has had its highs, lows, twists and loop-de-loops. Just like a roller coaster, sometimes you laugh, you cry, you scream in terror, and sometimes it makes you sick. This couldn’t be truer about me and Mother.

We’ve come a long way over the years and I can safely say that we are in a really good place. I love her with all my heart and would drop everything if she needed me.

Having her as my mother, I have a lot to be thankful for.  She has been, among other things, my nurse, chauffeur, chef, employer, but most importantly, my teacher. These are some of the things that Mother has taught me or given to me. I’m so grateful for each one.

To love Jesus – As a daughter of a PK, preacher’s kid, faith has been a part of my life from the very beginning. It is my foundation.

Importance of family – Not only the importance of our immediate family, but extended family, too. I witnessed firsthand the care she gave to my Papa when his health was failing. She also continues to visit and call on other extended family members on a regular basis just to make sure they are doing alright.

How to act right – I’ve publically thanked Mother, a time or two, for beating me with anything that wasn’t nailed down or too heavy to kill me when I acted a fool. It has molded me into person I am. I shudder to think about how I might have turned out to be if she didn’t discipline me the way she did.

How to be a hard worker – Mother worked 3 jobs to support our family when my brother, Joe, and I were growing up. From sun-up to sun-down and even longer, she worked to be able to give us the things we needed and sometimes the things we wanted.

Perseverance – Mother has had 3 types of cancer over her lifetime. Through many surgeries and chemotherapy, she has continued to be a fighter. As of today, I’m happy to say, she is cancer free! 

Love for the music from the 50s, 60s and 70s – Mother only listened to the Oldies station on the radio and the only records in the house were Time Life compilations, but I loved every beat.  

Be genuine – Mother isn’t one to “put on airs”. She is who she is and if you don’t like it, that’s fine. Same is true for me. I realize I might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but for some people, I am. That’s what matters.

Love of old movies – Whenever Mother commandeered the TV from me and Joe, the only channel she would watch was AMC – American Movie Classics. Back in the day, AMC showed movies from the 40s, 50s and 60s without commercials. On any given Saturday, she could get in 4 or 5 of them. Great movies like, Miracle in the Rain, The Enchanted Cottage, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, Mildred Pierce and of course, Hitchcock movies.

How to be mean – Mother didn’t really teach me how to be mean, but how to look mean. This way, no one will mess with you.  We come from a long line of mean. Funny story: Mother came to visit me at work one day. I happened to be in the back room working when she arrived. One of my co-workers came back to get me and he said, “You better come quick. There’s a lady out here asking for you and she looks mean.” I got a little concerned, but when I hit the door and saw her standing there, I said, “That’s not mean. That’s my mother.”

How to deal with the consequences of my actions – I’ve made some doozies of decisions in my life and Mother let me make them. However, in every decision, I was responsible for the fallout. She didn’t always support the decision and looking back it was for very good reasons, but after it ran its course and I realized I was wrong and she was right, she helped me pick up the pieces.

Where to find the best chili cheese dawg on the planet – If you don’t know, now you know. The best chili cheese dawgs can be found at the Varsity in Atlanta, GA.  A trip to Atlanta isn’t complete with a trip to the Varsity and when you go, you’ll know why Chili Dawgs only Bark at Night.

With all that said, I think she is pretty great. Nothing says how I feel about Mother than the words of the Goodie Mob song, Guess Who.

The only one who care for real

and really understands how I feel.

Helped me overcome my fears and

never left me through the years.

So I dedicate this song to you

For all that you brought me through.

I know there’ll never be another

That’ll love me like my mother.

Word. Mama, I love you.

Let’s Spin Some Yarn: The Art of Storytelling

My mother has always been a big fan of Lewis Grizzard (RIP: 1946-1994). He was a syndicated columnist for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, author and stand-up comedian. He was from Moreland, Georgia. My mother is from Bainbridge, Georgia. Lewis was a die-hard University of Georgia fan and so is my mother, even through the Ray Goff years. I believe that she had and read every book that Lewis ever wrote and one live recording of his stand-up on a 60-inch vinyl record (that’s right, VINYL RECORD).

My brother and I listened to that record so much, it’s a wonder it didn’t break and probably if you gave us a running start, we could still recite it today. Therefore, because Mother was a fan, I was a fan.

In his books, Lewis had a way of telling the stories of his life in a way that wasn’t just the facts, but was peppered with his own kind of language and a way of explaining people and places. It was truly spinning yarn. In his columns, he had an interesting take on the every day and mundane. One of my favorite columns, that I cut out and still have, is entitled “Sizzling Ways to Stay Cool until the Winter”.  Here’s an excerpt:

DON’T GO OUTSIDE: this is the most common mistake people make when there is a heat wave. They go outside. That’s where it’s hot, you ninny.

Inside, there’s air conditioning and ice and shade. Outside, you can’t breathe and you’ll sweat and start to smell bad. But you say, “I have to go outside in order to get to work.” That’s another thing. Avoid work. The only things that work in hot weather are mules and fools. Call in hot.

Lewis always had a sideways take on things and it was hilarious. I liken my storytelling style to his. I have opinions that stray from the majority, but as outlandish as they may be, you’re going to laugh at it or maybe just me.  And it’s not so much just to tell my stories, but to bring you, listener or in this case, reader, in and make you feel like you were there or wished you had been. That’s true yarn. Mother, I hope I do you and Lewis proud.