Bachelorette Post-Mortem: Week 2

Uggh. Usually this show doesn’t become so taxing right out the gate, but geez! This episode only added more fuel to the fire that burns for how much I am not a fan of Ashley or her being the Bachelorette.

Winners

Nobody - One of my top picks, Ryan P. (Solar Panel), didn’t even get a date. Boo!

If I have to pick someone, I could pick Mickey. He did win the coin toss that put him on the 1-on-1 date with Ashley in Vegas. Then, proceeded to win most of the lame coin tosses they decided to use to propel the direction of their date. Lame. Did I already say that?

Losers

Ashley - At the conclusion of this episode, I can’t help but for feel just a tad sorry for her. They have made her out to be a first class fool. She’s really, or so we’re lead to believe, for this Bentley character and I’m sure she probably did. We’ve all fallen for that kind of guy. I know I have, but I haven’t done it in front of millions of people across the globe. I really hope that it is editing that they done to make us think it. Otherwise, I hope she has a round the clock suicide-watch after seeing the show each Monday.

Now before you go thinking I’ve gone soft on her, hold it right there. This is completely self-inflicted and she’s being paid for it. I just hope for her sake, she’s getting a little bit more money than the others.

William - This guy. He’s chosen to accompany Ashley on the first 1-on-1 date of the season which will take place in Las Vegas. He dodged a wedding bullet, by taking part in a mock Vegas-style wedding. Horrible date, but he’s eating it up like it was filet mignon. He received a rose on the date, but then gloated at the cocktail party prior to the rose ceremony. Hey Willy, God don’t like ugly and no one likes a gloater.  He's super cute, but beginning to be a tool.

Las Vegas - Vegas looks less appealing. Good job, Bachelorette producers.

Line of the Night

First Place:  “I’d rather swim in pee than plan a wedding with her.” – Bentley  

You would.

Honorable Mention: “Tickle my pickle.” – Bentley

Hey Bent, what are you? In the 5th grade? Get a clue.

Bachelor Game Standings

33 – Allison: She correctly guessed Bentley for the Group Date Rose. Ugggh!

25 – Kevin

25 – Vicki

24 – Alex: Now, officially in the game.

Bachelorette Post-Mortem: Week 1

I’ll say, out the gate, I am not overjoyed to have Ashley as the Bachelorette. She’s a little to peppy all the time and the tone of her voice can be deafening, especially when it reaches the level of a dog whistle. However, this show is a guilty pleasure and can’t even think about missing an episode. Plus, I have to defend by crown as reigning Bachelor Champion. I will charge on and you can’t beat the weekly eye candy.

Ashley

The line of the night: “I want a guy to call me ‘Cupcake’.” Hey Ashley, those are things you keep to yourself. Once you actually snag a man is when you drop the lame nickname suggestion on him. Geez.

Winners

Ryan P. - AKA: Solar Panel - He received the first impression rose. He seems super sweet and not to mention, easy on the eyes. I’d like a cup of that.

Ben F. – With the wine toast straight out of the limo, he gets my vote.  It is agreed that he would be a bit more attractive with a haircut. Maybe he could ask fellow bachelorette hopeful and hairstylist, Stephen, to hook him up.

Other Approved Rose Recipients

Ben C., Blake, Chris D., Constantine, Lucas, Nick, Ryan M., West and William

Losers

Tim – Drunks McDrunkerton: Really?!?! You should have saved ABC some money and stayed home to get FUBAR’ed.  If he hadn’t had so many, as he put it, “cracktails”, he might have had the witty retort of “If that at the pot calling the kettle black?” when Ashley asked if he was drunk. Anyone who watched last season will know that Ashley spent many a group date walking the fine line between buzzed and sloshed.

Jeff – The Masked Superficial Avenger: Again, really?!?! That stunt is completely and totally lame. I wonder if he perused these other mask options before settling in on the one he wore.

Unfortunately, that mask does nothing to hide your lack of personality. She’s going to be very upset with you when you decide to take that mask off, which apparently will not be before you visit the toilet.

Honorable Mention

Anthony – Where did they find him? At a Welcome Back Kotter Look-a-like Reunion?

During his exited interview, I was waiting for him to say, “Up your nose with a rubber hose!” He’s probably a nice jamook from Jersey, but completely out of place.

Keeping One Eye on You

Bentley – Because there’s always one in every bunch, he is allegedly the latest addition to the Bachelorette Media Whore list which includes Wes (Gillian’s season) and Justin (Ali’s season). Now before we fly off the handle and place his engraved placard on the list permanently, we have to take into consideration the amount of editing that goes on to make this show possible. So for now, despite lots of fuel for the fire from the previews, the jury will still be out.

Bachelor Game Standing

19 – Allison: She correctly guessed Ryan P. for the First Impression Rose which put her in the lead.

15 – Kevin

15 – Vicki

00 – Alex: He missed the show due to an act of football. He would.

Shows You Should Watch...

But you’re probably not.

I don’t have cable in my house, so I have to watch current TV on the website, HULU. The reason I’m telling you this is because I need you to watch these shows live, which in turn will keep them on the air. This is also the reason I watch most of my television over at Allison's. 

Here are top 4 new shows I am currently watching on HULU and feel you should strongly consider putting into your TV watching rotation. For my sake, at least.

Raising Hope - Airs on FOX - Tuesdays at 9:00pm EST

Synopsis: Raising Hope stars the Chance family finds themselves raising the newest addition to the household, Baby Hope. Months after a romantic encounter with a wanted felon, 23-year-old Jimmy Chance learns he is the father of a bouncing baby girl. Jimmy's quirky family members include his mother, Virginia, father Burt and great-grandmother, Maw Maw - are less than enthusiastic about the little one.

Why I like it: Everything about this show is so wrong that is so right. There is hardly a moment that you’re not laughing. I often have to rewind just so you can hear what you missed while I was laughing.

Happy Endings - Airs on NBC – Wednesdays at 10:00pm EST

Synopsis: Happy Endings is a modern comedy that chronicles how a couple's break-up will complicate all of their friends' lives and make everyone question their choices. When life throws you for a curve, hold on tight to the people you love. Every circle of friends has someone who's the gravitational center. For years, perfect couple Dave and Alex drew their friends in and held them together. Now that they've split, does this group have the stuff to stay together? This show isn't afraid to ask the embarrassing personal questions that inevitably arise in every long-term, close-knit group of friends.

Why I like it: This show is a hilarious and writing is exceptional. It has an interesting take on the friend collective. Bonus: There are a lot of one-liners sprinkle throughout every episode.

Justified - Airs on FX Network - Wednesdays at 10:00pm EST

Synopsis: Justified is based on the works of crime novelist Elmore Leonard, including Leonard's short story Fire in the Hole. Set in Harlan County, KY, Timothy Olyphant stars as Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens, who is fresh off the epic gun battle that concluded season one. Season two finds Bo Crowder dead, and the Crowder criminal grip on Harlan County broken. Givens must now face off against the criminal organizations that are moving to fill the void, and finds himself entangled once again with the mercurial Boyd Crowder.

Why I like it: Joe relentlessly recommended this show on Facebook. It was a hard sell for me because of my dislike for Timothy Olyphant. In spite of my aversion, I really like this show. Guess what?? GOOD! However, be warned. I spend most of the episodes wincing because at any moment someone is going to be shot. It will happen.

Memphis Beat - Airs on TNT Network – Starts back Tuesday, June 14th

Synopsis: Memphis Beat centers on Dwight Hendricks, played by Jason Lee, a quirky Memphis police detective with an intimate connection to the city, a passion for blues music and a close relationship with his mother. He is "the keeper of Memphis," a Southern gentleman who is protective of his fellow citizens, reverential of the city's history and deeply rooted in its blues music scene.

Why I like it: Jason Lee as Dwight Hendricks, period, and Memphis is a great backdrop for a crime drama. Plus, it has a really funny ensemble cast that includes Alfre Woodard, D.J. Qualls, and Sam Hennings.

 

So do it already! Watch these shows. I'm begging you.