Let the Exodus Began

I liken my current living situation to the plight of the Israelites. I’ve been living in a foreign land and oppressed by the establishment. My Egypt is the Westchase area of Tampa and the establishment is the suburbia family-types.  I don’t have a Moses. I just finally came to my senses and after 2 years of a self-imposed incarceration, I’m leaving the Westchase. I am returning to my Promise Land, South Tampa.

I call it my self-imposed incarceration because despite many of my peeps telling me not to move there, I did anyway. Hindsight is always 20/20 and I know now that I should have never left. Lesson learned.

Here are 5 things I will NOT miss about Westchase:

The 30 minute drive to do anything fun – FACT: Fun lies just beyond the distance one could travel from my apartment in 30 minutes. It’s really hard to be spontaneous when you need at least 30 minutes notice.

Speed bumps - I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the deterioration of the Little Red Wonder’s motor mounts was caused by the obnoxious number of speed bumps. There would be no need for speed bumps if the parents located in this suburbia would do a better job of corralling their children. V. Grimes’ Parenting Tip #56: Don’t encourage your children to play in the streets unsupervised. It’s common sense really.

The elephants that lived above me - I never got my peepers on them, but they had to be the only humans that have lead-coated feet.

The looming outbreak of a holy war – That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Vultures – It is amazing and scary to me how many vultures swarm around Westchase. On any given day you can see anywhere from 1 to a pack of 20 hovering over a dead carcass.  It really should be the official mascot. Also, Allison said that driving out to my place seemed like the drive one would take if they had murdered someone and needed a secluded place to dump the body. I’m sure that’s another reason for the existence of vultures in Westchase.

Much like the Israelites, I’m not headed directly to the Promise Land, but don’t be alarmed. My exodus is not going to last 40 years. I only have 5 weeks to wait before I can move into my new place.