I heard Max, a wise gay man on the show, Happy Endings, say “You have to stop focusing on the stuff you had and starting focusing on all the cool new stuff you have.” Word. Sister, get over it already. You’ve got so many other, and better, guys available for the picking. Just say to yourself, “Bentley, die in a fire”, move on and lock it up already!
Winners
Ben F. – He, out of my top 3 contenders, made out like a champ during the group date. Smooth move on taking the artistic route to set yourself apart. And he said, “I can’t paint.” Really Ben? That was pretty good looking elephant you painted. Nice trick, liar!
J.P. – He just might have pulled himself ahead of the pack. You can tell Ashley really likes him. The way he went on and on about their 1-on-1 date after the Bentley debacle being perfect was really over the top, but she ate it up. That was until he tried to pick her up off the beach. Really?!?! Ashley is so tee-tiny you can put her in your pocket. Hit the gym, J.P.
Losers
Those with the Hope of Skin – The only redeeming quality of this season would be to take in all the eye candy and the hope of seeing these guys shirtless. In true Bachelorette fashion, we were completely teased with last week’s Hulu preview.
Guess what? FAIL. Imagine if you will, on screen the guys in, what are clearly swimming trunks, and there’s a pool nearby. Plus, Ashley is in a bikini. You’ve got to think, this is it! Finally, after all this Bentley nonsense, we’d see a few nicely chiseled abs, some sculpted biceps, and maybe an appropriate amount of chest hair, but no. I spent a good bit of the time during this portion of the show chanting, “Pecks! Pecks! Pecks! Pecks! Pecks! Pecks! Pecks! Pecks!” to no avail. My Peck Dance didn’t work.
Blake – I called it “Premature Opinionation”. He was all set to tell Ryan P. (AKA: Solar Panel) just how annoying he was for the entire house, but completely and totally chocked. You can’t just sit down and tell someone they grate on your nerves without being ready to bring the evidence.
The rub is that Solar Panel is always on. Of course he’s always on, he’s solar-powered. Someone please press the button on the laugh track.
From out of Nowhere
Ames (AKA: The Catfish) – Can we all say we didn’t see that one coming?!?! I was almost sure that she wasn’t going to give me a rose for 3 reasons:
1. Ames made a comment that he couldn’t even speak because he was too busy taking in the surroundings. How awkward? Which leads to #2.
2. When he and Ashley were in the canoe, not once did she sit facing him. If I like a guy, despite the beautiful surrounding, I would have wanted to be looking at him.
3. I thought at some point Ashley would realize that he is way smarter than her. Guess what? Didn’t
Plus, there was NO affection (that they showed) on any part of the date. She mentioned being comfortable with him, which is a clear indication of a “friend” relationship. The Catfish may be on the way out.
Line of the Night
“I felt a little bit of insecurity.” – Ashley, on her date with Constantine. She would.
"Someone who is devoted." Ashley, in response to Ames' question of what is an intangiable quality you look for in a person. I erupted with the tune, Hopelessly Devoted to You from Grease.
Bachelor Game Standings
59 – Allison
51 – Kevin
51 – Vicki
50 – Alex
It was a complete no-brainer. We all correctly guessed Ben F. for the group date rose and got 8 of the 8 roses right. Talk about predictable.
No comments:
Post a Comment