25 Things about Me: #21

21. I feel that civilization is validated by the existence of Target and I have a Target ranking system.

Civilization is truly validated by the existence of a Target.

When I started my job at Family First, back in 2008, I was sent to Charleston, SC for a week long training session for our database software, The Raiser’s Edge. I was there all by myself and I need to find something familiar to home and it was a Target.

Getting to the Target in Charleston is a whole other story that I’m sure I will tell you soon, but for now I’ll say it was part of a weeklong adventure I had in a street-signless city. Being a persistent one, I made it to the Target unscathed. As I approached it, I screamed. I had found civilization. I did the normal walking around aimlessly, looking for nothing, wanting everything, but I had the sweet limitation of not being a home, so I couldn’t load up a cart.

 When I walked into the Target, I quickly discerned that this particular Target was a “D” Target on my Target grading scale. Oh, what is The V. Grimes’ Target Grading Scale, you may ask? The V. Grimes’ Target Grading Scale is as follows:

Super Target – A

Target with extended grocery – B

Target with normal grocery – C

Target with limited grocery – D

No Target – Unacceptable/Needs Improvement

I’m sure you’re wondering why the grocery section of a Target makes or breaks the grade. Well, there is a direct correlation between the amount of real estate a Target gives grocery and the rest of the store. i.e. - The bigger the grocery section, the more stuff you think you want, but don’t really need is readily available. I prefer not to go to “D” stores. “D” stores never, ever have what I think I should want and in true “D” store fashion, they didn’t have what I wanted nor what I needed. I left with a substitute for what I needed and a few things that would fit in my carry-on that I wanted.

I can remember when Panama City got their Target store. I came out of there with no less than $50.00 worth of items I no more needed than another hole in my head. I’m sad to report that hasn’t changed over the years. Dang you, Target and your glowing red target sign. I get lost in its glow every time.