When I first started writing this story for my blog, I had intended to come up with my own version since the details from Mother were scarce. Here’s what I was thinking…
The story opens as a song begins. Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd at time stamp 4:40, blaring from stereo inside a blue late model Ford F-150.
While out on his riding lawn mower, cutting his 3-acre plot of land, Don spied Roni taking in the afternoon breeze on her front porch. It was easy to see her as she lived in the house directly across the street from his. She was holding a mason jar and drinking what Don could only assume was sweet ice tea, since it was two o’clock in the afternoon and surely, Roni was a lady. The sight of her was breath-taking as she fanned herself with the flattened wine cooler carton. He had to go to her.
He dismounted his John Deere. With his hands, Don brushed back the feathers of his freshly cut mullet and checked his reflection in the chrome of his pick-up’s hub caps. He made his way across the street and as soon as his feet touched Roni’s property line, it was all she wrote for Don.
It was a whirlwind romance with long walks along Deer Pointe Lake, late nights at the Moose Lodge and the motorcycle rides along Front Beach Road. Their love would not be limited by the asphalt that separated their houses.
One night just after polishing off a box of Chablis, Roni, in a pink-tinted haze, thought she saw Don pull up at his house across the street. She gathered herself and ran, as best she could, to meet him. Assuming it was Don, she grabbed the man and began to kiss him violently in the front yard. Unbeknownst to Roni, the pink figure of a man she was kissing was, in fact, not Don, but Don’s half-brother’s cousin, Randy.
Before Roni could know her folly, Don pulled up just as she launched herself into Randy’s arms. Don, rocked with anguish, removed Roni from Randy’s arms and then proceeded to punch Randy, in the gut, just because. The altercation sent Roni’s vision back to color. She realized what had happened, but it was too late. Don was done with her. Later, Don and Randy would share a beer.
The next morning, Roni awoke to the site of an unfinished fence marring her sightline to Don's house. It was a statement.
Roni would forever be banished to the other side of the street and eternally separated by the fence and the asphalt between their property lines.
End scene.
Now, the real rest of the fence story: Unfortunately, life is rarely as fantastical as I imagine. I assumed that because Don put up the fence, he had been the one in the relationship to have been ill-treated. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Apparently, after a short courtship, Don asked Roni to marry him. She had said yes, but when Don announced that she would get down on her hands and knees to scrub his kitchen floor, Roni thought better of it. She broke off the engagement and that’s when Don put up the fence.
Allegedly, Don has now added somewhere on his property a video camera pointed straight at Roni’s house and is recording all the goings-on over there. Mother said she has tried several attempts to inconspicuously crane her neck to try and find it, but to no avail.
Another tidbit: Roni breeds Pomeranian dogs on the side. It is also alleged that Don poisoned and killed her stud. Guess what? Creepy. The next thing you know, Mother’s street will be on an episode of Bay County's version of Cops. I’ll keep you posted.
